My Summer Cruise

I’m back from a short hiatus. I went to Bermuda. I knew I was going to Bermuda when I wrote my last post. I did not mention it because you are not supposed to tell the whole Internet world you are going on a 5 day cruise to Bermuda. That just opens you up for disaster. I have seen it in a movie once or twice. Now the one thing I did not realize on this trip is that there is no Internet. So you know what that means, no Facebook, no asking for lives in Candy Crush, no Instagram postings, and no checking e-mail, all in that order. However, I am getting addicted to twitter so that means no checking the 144 characters that you are allowed or to see who all the creepy new followers. I also forgot to load up my iPad with books to read. Believe it or not I had the urge to read a book on the boat. The calming of the waves crashing against the hull put you in the mood. Especially when your spouse brought three books and is gaining knowledge while you are playing Candy Crush over and over again. There is something wrong with that picture I know. Another thing to remember is that they do not have irons on the boat. Nope. If everything you own is cotton and you pack it in a little suitcase and it comes out of the suitcase wrinkly well then it is wrinkly for the world to see. Or you could sit out on the balcony, play Candy Crush and let the humidity take them out. It’s up to you. I did the latter.

Cruising is fun. It’s like an instant city in a matter of a few hours. Thank goodness I am old enough to remember the Love Boat. I think that should be a pre-requisite before getting on the boat. No particular reason except they always seemed to be going to Acapulco. Which I can proudly say I have been there on a previous cruise, you can imagine my excitement hoping to see Julie McCoy show up to tell me all the fun I was going to have. However, I could have used Isaac Washington to hand me a drink.

So back to reality. I had many highlights of the trip. If you know me then you know I was searching for craziness. The first would be the waiter who held the coffee tray on his head while dancing. His name was Morice and he was from Jamaica. His shiny bald head helped with the balancing act and he knew how to pose for a picture with ease. I also saw a rainbow in the middle of the ocean. If I wasn’t there would the rainbow still be there? I know it is a silly question but I must ask. Yes of course it would. Moving on to the belly flop competition. Apparently if you weigh 150 pounds and are from Ohio you will not win but if you are 350 pounds and are from New Jersey and take one last drink from the Budweiser bottle you will win. Nuff’ said.

Now on to the never ending meal plan that we all look forward to when cruising. There will always be food available in case you didn’t know. All diets are out the door. One of the funniest moments was when people walked by the raw meat section. The reaction of the people who did not realize that you pick your meat to mix with the noodles to be cooked by the chef. I think everybody thought that people were to eat it raw. I knew immediately, ok…..after I looked at my husband to confirm that they do cook the meat with the noodles. What a relief because can you imagine just chewing on raw meat? Moving on….where was all the carved fruit like on the Love Boat? There was not one piece of carved fruit. Back when my sister would go on cruises that’s all she took pictures of…and I always asked her why? There were so many other things you could have taken pictures of why fruit? She answered “There were no cute guys!” Got it!

One last mention about the cruise. The geek in me went to a forum on the boat to meet the Captain. I needed to ask him some questions. I was first to raise my hand and handed the microphone. What was my question? The first of two was to find out if he ever had to stop the boat from someone getting in the way? Can you imagine that, the big Love Boat coming to a screeching halt? Then I got trumped by the next question from the kid from Philly. He asked if we should be scared of Pirates attacking the ship. I was done. It never occurred to me that that could possibly happen. Now it was getting exciting. The captains answers to both questions was no. Kinda disappointing. But I had one more question, Can you come over to lunch? Why? Because the captain lives in Baltimore. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to start building a friendship with the captain since he lived so close. He also carved a 50 foot totem pole and it is in his backyard. Now my goal is to find the totem pole and be his best friend for life.

I wanted to mention this was a Mother’s Day gift from my husband. I greatly appreciated it and the time away from all the ruckus at home. He is always so thoughtful of the gifts he gives and this was no different. Until next time….

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